You know what? I’m sick and tired of you blowing me off for things that won’t even MATTER. What about us always going to Harmony? The parking ramp? Our deal to complement as many people on the walk there? Huh? Oh, wait, I forgot. You’re older now and you have to have sex and hang out with the popular kids. Well, let’s see where this gets you. While you’re busy buying condoms, i’ll be that girl that’s actually making a fucking difference and doing something worth my time. Honestly, what’s so great about them? They aren’t even fucking interesting. They’re clones, unoriginal. And they don’t have your back, either. Would you like to know something else? I’ve always been there for you, and i’ve always been a loyal friend to you. So stop throwing me on the fucking sidelines for when you need a good laugh or someone to be there. Because maybe, every once and I while, i’m going to need you too. 

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I actually managed to draw something that I like.

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Could somebody give me something new to think about? My thoughts aren’t even interesting anymore.

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Tonight will be another night spent replaying events in my head that really shouldn’t matter to me anymore. But, instead, you will think deeper and deeper and remember every little, tiny heartbreaking detail that you shouldn’t care about. I’m too tired for this. I’m tired of feeling sick and alone and just hanging my head low. 

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Today we had to write down something that we wouldn’t tell others usually, and all of the post cards would be displayed in the lunch room. The boy next to me if I had put heart into mine, and I said yes. He then told me that he drew a heart, and asked me if I did, and what color it was. I didn’t draw a heart, but he told me that his heart was blue. I asked why but he wouldn’t tell me. 

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Things I need:

  • Company.
  • A friend.
  • A car.
  • Gas.
  • Money.
  • An iPod would be nice.
  • A friend.
  • Youtube to finish this damn song.
  • A good attitude.
  • Motivation. 
  • Inspiration. 
  • A haircut.
  • Guitar lessons.
  • Sheet music.
  • A creative thought.
  • A happy thought.
  • I don’t know. 

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You know, I get it. Really, I do. I’m a shit friend, who doesn’t like change, who hides herself, and who never lets anyone close to her. Would you like to know something else dear? I’ve known this for a while. And you’re so fucking convinced that I need you, but would YOU like to know something? I don’t need you.

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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

I love Bright Eyes.

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Done with my Renaissance submission. It says “when will the excitement come?” if you can’t read it. I’m too lazy to scan is, so ignore the shiny tape.

Done with my Renaissance submission. It says “when will the excitement come?” if you can’t read it. I’m too lazy to scan is, so ignore the shiny tape.

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Today sucked. My application is due tomorrow, and I still have no piece of art to submit, not have I done my essay. I’m screwed.

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