I am in the most uplifting mood ever. I’d like to invite all my friends over and go dancing and bowling and just walk around until I die. I am in love. I am happy. And I don’t care if it ends bad because right now, I feel great. Two months, and that’s okay. I can wait two more months. 

Maybe I don’t want to go to school. Maybe I want to just live in a car and explore for myself. Make love to random people, and I won’t even know their names. Wake up in the morning and tell them i’m mental, that it’s all in my head. I love people, I love the world. I want to Explore myself and the country, everywhere. Find out who I am and not let some fucking idiot ruin it. Run away and live my dreams. And when they’re fulfilled, i’ll dream new ones. Live off of minimal wage, not a dollar bill control my life. Maybe I don’t want to go to college. Maybe I want to work at McDonalds and come home and paint pictures, and read books. Maybe I want to educate myself with experience, not book knowledge. Why should I let a god damn piece of paper decide whether or not i’m intelligent? Whether or not i’m worth it? Maybe I want to be loved, maybe I don’t want to be loved at all. Maybe this is just another idea in my head because things always go wrong and I need something to keep me going. Maybe there’s not something to keep me going, maybe i’m keeping myself going. Maybe i’m not. 

It’s not fair. It’s not fair that you can still be happy without me there. And here I am, lonely and exhausted, missing you all terribly, without any of you having the slightest clue. 

I’ve had a star on my face since second hour… oops. 

His name is Brandon. 

Day 6: something you would like to change about yourself

Something i’d like to change about myself if my attitude and motivation. Lately I just haven’t cared at all, or i’ve cared way too much. I have a lack of inspiration in every subject you could possibly think of. I need something to keep me going.

Day 5: something you would change about the world

..Can I bring back originality? None of you could do something interesting or make yourself independent to save your own life. 

Day 4: how you think your life would change if you achieved your dream

My dream is to travel to Europe and live there for several months. What would change? I think i’d probably see how I do things here a bit differently, and i’d be more educated with different cultures. And, hopefully, i’d have some new friends. But I think i’d also find myself out during this road trip.